the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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