So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
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I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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