i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
