Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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