I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
