I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
