I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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