There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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