he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
