Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
