In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
