Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What drink are we having for lunch?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
