Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
