My first STD was from a foam party
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
