You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
