The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
