I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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