How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I love you.
Bad choice
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