my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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