Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
