Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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