i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
