woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
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I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize