yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
