Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
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you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid