Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He passed out mid-signature
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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