Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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