Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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