I faked an abortion last night.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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