Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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