he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
