Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
