Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
