i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
