Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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