Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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