IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
