thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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