There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
