can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
