I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize