Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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