garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
