Is it normal to miss your booty call?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
