Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
