Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I've blown a few things in my day
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
