Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
