I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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