he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
