I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
