so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
