the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I supernannyed him into submission
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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