wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm bleeding and have questions
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
