I think I died a long time ago.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
