i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
