Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
