I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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