I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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