Christians are straight up FREAKS
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
