I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
