"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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